"The Search For The Missing Amulet"

or: "Here I Am, Stuck In The Middle With You"

a festive pantomiming of the seasonal and herbal parsnip variety
currently in rehearsal, scripts still being edited and scenery not even yet painted. . .
and what about the score!! yikes, I knew I shouldn't have undertaken all this myself:
crikey, people, we need music!!
(and perhaps I need a little help?)

Act One, Scene One

Stage Directions: girl wanders, lost, in forest. . .Joe Valentine, PI, appears, as if from nowhere. . . however, even aided and abetted by The Penguin with the Strange Case of Amnesia, they couldn't see the wood for the trees. . . so who, we asked ourselves, will appear next to help rescue the maiden. . .
.
Ah-ha! no, not a band of Norwegian vikings, but The Highlander strode on. . . we know not what he wears under his kilt (big oo-oooooooooooooooooooo from the audience please) but we do know that he plays a mean tune on his bag-pipes. . . as the maiden looked aside, blushing, at the thought of The Highlander's undergarments (or even his chest wig) Joe withdrew his cravat and offered it to The Penguin (who had forgotten to put on her costume). . .
.
in a puff of smoke, the Famous French Fancy appears, singing a love song (as a form of distraction) (from the cross-dressing) (it's terrible when someone uses balsamic vinegar instead of red wine vinegar) to one and all (accompanied by The Highlander, on his bag-pipes) but secretly to his (or perhaps her) one true love. . .
.
"Foy porter, honneur garder, Et pais querir, oubeir,
Doubter, servir, et honnourer, Vous vueil jusques au morir, Dame sans per.
Car tant vous aim, sans mentir, Qu'on poroit avant tarir,
La haute mer,
Et ses ondes retenir que me peusse alentir de vous amer."

19 comments:

Dave said...

Perhaps she needs a hand.

I, Like The View said...

looks like she's going to have one. . .

Mel said...

*flap flap waddle waddle*

(or a wing!)

*grabs a glove in beak and whips it viciously from left to right*

(evil glove.....baddddddd glove!)

:>

I, Like The View said...

great! the penguin is here to help Joe save the day. . .

I, Like The View said...

(don't forget the props, folks. . .)

Mel said...

*flings glove on the floor and hops up and down on it*

(evil glove.......badddddddddd glove!!)

*wipes penguiny brow and looks around*

(now then.....where's the coffee....)

Mel said...

*unzips penguiny suit and runs from stage to sit in the audience*

*takes popcorn and munches happily*

:-)

I, Like The View said...

ok folks

coffee break!

(or if you're Dave, a hot chocolate or a cup of tea)

I, Like The View said...

oh yes, and popcorn!

Christopher said...

This is fantastic. This opens up massive new cyberpossibilities. My head's spinning already...

Dave said...

Does Mel realise she wasn't wearing anything under that costume?

*Withdraws large handkerchief from top pocket and hands it to her*

I, Like The View said...

only a handkerchief Dave. . . I referred the hankypankychief

(-:


Christopher perhaps you'll help with the score? (my thoughts so far are in the side bar)

I, Like The View said...

d'oh

that was supposed to read preferred

Anonymous G said...

in what scene does the cross-dresser take the stage???

cripes! i've lost my notes...

AND, i'm a bit miffed that the security beast took my banana!!!

I, Like The View said...

now! (I'll get security to return the banana to your dressing room)

Christopher said...

Oh, in the side bar? I was waiting for you in the crush bar. Hold on, I'll come round.

mig bardsley said...

"OOOOOOOOOOOoooooo!"
(that's very hard for a crow to say you know)

Mel said...

AUGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

*covers self with popcorn box and LARGE handkerchief and races to the penguin garb*

:>

*waddles, bows and shuffles to exit stage right*

(it's hard work being a stork...)

Christopher said...

Guillaume de Machaut on the bagpipes? Now that IS a challenge.

(But will anyone spot the wrong notes?)