I dunno, from can-can to go-go. . . there has to be a hidden meaning in all this somewhere*. . . (while I ponder this, The Audience reach for their song-sheets and burst into song!) (*more details to follow soon!)
but what of our other maiden? and, will The Missing Amulet ever be found? and (*The Audience boos and hisses*) when will the I,LTV 2009 Panto Extravaganza Villain (as yet uncast) ever appear? and, has The Lemonade Stand finally run out of lemons? and, more importantly, will he ever sing again? (brilliant suggestion for his next song here!); and some scenery is still to be built. . .
the chorus girls, led by the Fine French Fancies (it appears we have two!) (or is one a cross dresser in disguise?) dive for cover, frilly knickers fill the air
and where is the missing amulet?
and what will happen to all those lemons?
"Il ne'est joie ne joir n'autre bien qu'on puist sentir
Qui ne me samble languir,
Quant vo douceur adoucir vuet mon amer:
Dont loer et aourer et vous cremier, tout souffrir,
Tout conjoir, Tout endurer
Vueil plus que je ne desir guerredonner
in this act two strangers appear, one of whom might possibly be the German Forest Dwelling Magician and the other of whom might be someone in need of a Magic Carpet; perhaps they are fencing stolen goods, perhaps they have very large wallets, we don't know. . . what we know is that they came prepared for festive celebrations, bringing with them cup cakes!
a lady, who had been trying to distract The Highlander by blowing kisses from her balcony, instead let loose her pet peacock. . .
Ah-ha! no, not a band of Norwegian vikings, but The Highlander strode on. . . we know not what he wears under his kilt (big oo-oooooooooooooooooooo from the audience please) but we do know that he plays a mean tune on his bag-pipes. . . as the maiden looked aside, blushing, at the thought of The Highlander's undergarments (or even his chest wig) Joe withdrew his cravat and offered it to The Penguin (who had forgotten to put on her costume). . .
in a puff of smoke, the Famous French Fancy appears, singing a love song (as a form of distraction) (from the cross-dressing) (it's terrible when someone uses balsamic vinegar instead of red wine vinegar) to one and all (accompanied by The Highlander, on his bag-pipes) but secretly to his (or perhaps her) one true love. . .
Doubter, servir, et honnourer, Vous vueil jusques au morir, Dame sans per.
Car tant vous aim, sans mentir, Qu'on poroit avant tarir,
La haute mer,
Et ses ondes retenir que me peusse alentir de vous amer."